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Where would I be without these RLF???

the scene right before heloula heloula 's latest RLF

heheCollapse )

Pam was happily munching on cornflakes, leaning against the counter, listening to Héla regale her with what had happened at the party the previous night. It seems Evan Rachel Wood had made a pass at dear Patzy... and well let’s just say Wood no longer thought she was the bad ass in town.

“I mean seriously. Have you seen the girl’s complexion? Their kid would look like an albino.”

Pam choked slightly on her cornflakes as she got caught laughing.

“Only You would forego the ‘Bitch he’s my man’ and go straight to the technical glitches of him cheating on you.”

Héla grinned at her, “Well, of course she’d never see the light of another day. But dear it was a party. I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of all those people.”

Pam just shook her head chuckling, when suddenly the front door could be heard opening. In walked Rob with a gym bag in his hand, clearly having just come back from another training session.

“Hello love,” he cheerily greeted as he leaned down and pecked Héla on the mouth.


“Patzy,” she nodded. “Another rough and tumble eh?”

He smirked, while opening the fridge, “You do know the skinny boy jokes don’t work anymore right? I got back the muscle.”

“Hmm... yes well. One more hiatus and I’ll be back to knocking you over with a feather,” Pam retorted narrowing her eyes.

Héla opened her mouth.

“And one quip about how you love him either way and I’m leaving,” Pam held up a finger.

Héla and Rob exchanged glances.  Héla shrugged, “What can I say? The girl knows me well.”

Rob laughed, “Alright then best to hit the showers. Get me all shaved and ready. How much before we have to leave?”

Héla had been carrying a plate to the sink which promptly fell over and made a loud clatter. Pam stopped mid-munch, mouth hanging open.

“Rob... sweetheart... what did you say?” Héla turned to face him, staring at him.

“I asked what time we have to leave love.” Rob looked at her like he thought she was developing hearing difficulties.

“Before that Rob,” Héla quickly snapped.

“I said I’m taking a shower and shaving.”

“AHA! That right there. I thought we talked about this when your manager first suggested the ludicrous idea?”

“Hélaaaa,” Rob whined out. “Pam back me up on this. You know the reasons behind this desperate need for hygiene John keeps harping on about.”

Héla shook her head, “Wrong move love.”

“Me!” Pam seemed to come back to reality quickly gulping down whatever she was eating and setting the box of cornflakes down. “I wouldn’t have told you to shave if your life depended on it!”

Rob rolled his eyes. “Nice to see I always have your support... and my safety in your mind.”

“Don’t play helpless victim with me. I told John I think it’s the dumbest idea he’s ever had and let me tell you he’s had some pretty dumb ideas. Like when he said ‘Let’s all go to Paris Hilton’s party’ and Verne Troyer ended up upside down in the Alizée fountain because the stupid bint couldn’t hold her drink and tried to kiss you. Oh that was a jolly good night. Poor Verne still has trouble sitting down, three weeks later. Or how about the time...”

“The point Pam,” Rob gritted out.

“Ah yes the point,” Pam stood up straighter, “The point is John is marvellous at getting you jobs but he’s terrible at what he thinks the public wants from you.”

“So you want me to go looking as the mountain man I’ve been trolling about in LA for the last few weeks. Come on Pam even I know that’s pushing it.”

“Excuse me have you seen Brad and Adrien Brody? Christ that man looks like he has a chimpanzee on his face.”

“Both for roles.”

“We’ll work an angle when we’re on the red carpet. We’ll tell Joan Rivers you’re trying out the caveman basic instinct approach. That oughta get a few tongues wagging, if you know what I mean.” She elbowed Héla and gave her a conspirational wink.

Héla giggled but straightened up when she saw Rob glaring at her.

“Contrary to popular belief, my sex life is not a toy to be flaunted around.”

Héla and Pam both glanced at each other, silently asking the other who will make the obvious joke.

Rob looked from one to the other. He raised his arms in exasperation. “Gahh, you’re incorrigible. The both of you.”

He stormed out of the kitchen and made his way to the bathroom upstairs with full speed.

Héla and Pam quickly looked at each other alarmed.

“Rob, love now don’t be hasty. We wouldn’t want you to do something you can’t undo.”

“You know what I think,” Rob turned around, scissors in hand, “is that the only reason you’re making such a fuss is because of some kind of incomprehensible sexual need. Never mind my reputation or how these people perceive me. No it’s all about your gratification.”

“Well honey...” Héla slowly inched forward trying to take the scissors.

Rob pulled his arm back, making the scissors beyond her reach. “Are you serious? Are you actually going to stand there and put this up for debate. As if I don’t do everything for you, come hell or high water. Héla you know where I stand on what I’d do for you and to you...”

“Oh geez. Will you warn me before such a topic gets broached?” Pam dramatically turned around planting a palm over her eyes.

Héla couldn’t help but let out a giggle. Rob just rolled his eyes.

“I’ll get to you in a minute Halliwell.”

“No no take your time please. Heaven forbid I’d be the reason you’d have to rush the ‘what you’d do TO her?” Pam made a dramatic waving gesture with her arm while still firmly covering her eyes with the other.

Héla giggled again. Rob was about to start speaking when she grabbed his face in between her palms and looked him dead in the eye.

“Darling, you know this has nothing to do with the way you look.... or whatever silly notion you’ve gotten into your head. This is about principle. You’re only doing this for them.”

Rob just heaved a sigh, unable to resist the comfort he felt. “Yes but just this once. I’d rather listen to John. NOT that I don’t value your expert opinion Pam,” he quickly added, frowning conceding.

Pam made yet another gesture with her hands seemingly to convey, ‘As you wish’.

“But he has a little more experience in this arena. And it’s not like it’ll do any harm right?”

“You could go in a sack and it wouldn’t do any harm,” Héla mumbled.

Rob smirked, getting the gist of what she had said even though he hadn’t heard every word. He pulled back from her hold, holding out the scissors as far away as possible and raised his eyebrow questioningly.

“Rob, now just wait a minute,” Héla pleaded.

Suddenly Rob heard a weird form of battle cry coming from his right and in a flash felt a 60 kilogramme tiny person on his back, clutching at his arm.

“Héla, quick grab the scissors. Sorry Rob. Desperate times and all that.”

“You’re damn bleeding right it’s bloody desperate. Get off me you maniac.” Rob tried to get Pam off him but he was limited in his movement as he didn’t want to run the risk of hurting anyone with the scissors. And her grip on his arm was vice-like. He wondered where in the world she had developed a hold like that.

“We’ll strike a deal Patzy. A trim. Just a nice trim. We’ll get it at one of those expensive hair salons to please John. We’ll pay with his credit card so he’ll definitely know we did it.”

All the while, Pam kept seeing different sides of the room as Rob kept moving around, trying to push her off, while she held on with all the effort she could muster.

“Alright you two, stop it.” Héla slowly approached and yanked the scissors from Rob’s hands. He held on while she gave him a withering glare. “Give me the scissors Rob, or the monkey over here won’t get off.”

Rob looked over his shoulder glaring at Pam while she grinned at him wildly. He grudgingly let go of the scissors and Pam promptly landed on the floow.

Both girls sat down next to each other, Pam trying to arrange her hair which was had become in disarray form her little attempt.




We all know Ed Westwick is British. We all love his accent, british or American. But this season 'Gossip Girl' seems to be giving him more opportunities to flaunt his heritage.

Exhibit A:
'The Dark Night' - he makes use of his authentic British accent to deceive Blair/ get one up on her.You have to love the sheer irony of using Ed to do something sutterly Chuck Bass like!

Exhibit B:
'O Brother Where Bart Thou?' - while traipsing on the ledge, Chuck is singing 'Spanish Ladies', a very old and vey traditional BRITIH Mariners song, that dates back centuries. This is a classic case of improvisation. There is no way in hell the director told Ed sing 'Spanish Ladies' while you're playing a manic depressive teetering on suicide. Ed just went with it and everyone else just applauded the innovativeness.

Exhibit C:
'Gone With The Will' - there is a very prominent close-up to Chick's cufflinks with the Union Jack on them

Conclusion: If you've got a talented actor with an interesting background, flaunt it. It not only gives Chuck more layers of cultural proficiency but shows the level of respect Ed commandeers within 'Gossip Girl'.

Wonder what the next subtle reference will be.

H&M Pilot

Ok this is how we could start off every episode. depending on our guest we could pick a few of these and do it. considering patzy would be the first guest. the topic is of course BRIT BOYZ :D go on over to heloula's journal to see her version :D

nobody's gna care about this besdies em and hela but: please note:
not ONLY dear dear dear ed make use of his british accent earlier on in the season... but you know that song that he sings while he's tipping on the ledge, something about 'spanish ladies' ... turns out that's a very OLD and very AUTHENTIC ENGLISH mariner's song :D it's folklore at its finest.
please note: while playing a true blue-blooded rich new yorker BELIEVABLY.. can't get much more american than that

Favorite british boy:  HANDS DOWN... Dan Radcliffe.. for his undenaible wit
Least favorite british boy:  Prince Charles
British boy with the best hair:  Robert Pattinson
British boy with the best eyes:  Jonathan Rhys Meyers (i'm nt sure if he counts in all this). if not patzy
British boy I'd most want to kiss:  as much as i love dan, prince harry. then i'll kiss a frog. so i can officially say i kissed a for & a prince :p
British boy I'd most likely shag:  christian bale... inventor of 'sex on a stick' expression (and yes he counts... we're talking british isles. he's welsh. so he counts)
British boy I'd make lunch for:  high grant ^^
British boy I'd go singing in the rain with:  sexwick
British boy I'd go shopping with:  patzy. it's be too funny with him trying to fit in enough boxes to pack up babylon into an audi convertible!
British boy I'd go dancing with:  paul mccartney. have you listened to 'why don't we do it in the road?' people
British boy I'd take over the world with:  rowan atkinson
British boy I most want to see more of:  Colin Firth
Favorite het pairing: if he cant be with hela. then patzy with bledel :P
Favorite slash pairing: sexwick and bale... YOYZAA :P if you thought bale's scene with mcgregor in 'velvet goldmine' was HAWT... imagine this!!

honourable mentions: the two toms: tom sturridge and tom felton. rupert grint. oh dear there are so many. hela you know them. i'll leave up to you to list! my thoughts collided and i froze :P (re: dan's conan interview :p)



i wouldn't even know where to begin explaining this one!

Oh the world...Collapse )Oh the worldCollapse )





the continuation of the -love- :p

i don't feel the need to clarify because no one's gonna read this besides me and hela


ps when we're old and grey and we look back at our fun years, i am reading this at your wedding which i ahve just offcially invited myself to k? :P

enter the world of long msn conversations and over active mindsCollapse )

M: Rob, sweetie, I love you like a brother but if you don’t stop whining I’m going to make sure they won’t be able to make those sequels.


M: Oh no, don’t you start with the puppy dog eyes. They don’t work on me.... *huffs... have you used them on her instead?

R: I’ve tried EVERYTHING. I’ve tried sending flowers, I sent her a CD with a song I’d been hoping to hold out till her birthday but decided was in dire need right now. I’ve tried calling so much my battery is dead.

M: And?

R: And nothing! She’s avoiding me like the plague.

M: You two are weird.

R: Oh and what pray tell do you and Danny boy do when you fight?

M: Oh let’s see. I yell at him. He yells back. I yell some more. He realises what a pompous git he’s being and then....

R: Oh bloody hell, Pam, I did not need that visual.

M: This coming from Mr. All kinds of sex is good sex.

R: Yes with my WIFE! Back to the problem at hand!

M: Wow

R: What?

M: You are whipped. I mean I had my doubts. But you are indubitably categorically whipped.

R: *tries to contradict but know it’s a hopeless argument* So?

M: So nothing. I need to congratulate Héla first chance I get.

R: GAHHHHHHHH *ßyell in frustration*

M: Oh right, whining vampire, domestic problems.... What do you want me to do?


R: Talk.to.her.

M: Listen Ed.

R: Rob

M: Whatever. If she doesn’t want to speak to you, there’s nothing I can do. I am her friend and by some weird sneeze of fate, the closest thing you have to a platonic female friend but I am not Alba, the Great Miracle-Worker. She is pissed about all this attention. Let me rephrase, she’s not pissed about all the attention. She couldn’t be happier for you. Su happiness est her happiness and all. It’s the Tyra boo boo she’s up in arms about. I mean really Rob what possessed you?

R: I don’t know. I’m regretting it every bloody second. You get caught in the hype and you don’t think... and I’m an idiot.

M: Ok good. Admitting is the first step to recovery. Now we just need to find a way to let her know that.

R: Yeah well *runs his fingers through his hair* I think there’s more to it than that

M: Ahhh

R: Ahhhh

M: The K word?

R: Yeah. I’ve told her over and over. I’ve run out of ways to tell her. I mean she knows all the songs I write are for her, even the ones on the blessed soundtrack were originally written for her. She knows  it’s just her and me. No one else you know? Sometimes I really hate this stupid fucking job. I mean what’s the point of getting a decent pay cheque for the first time in my life if the only person I’d like to spend it on is ignoring me. And I couldn’t give a rat’s blooming arse about who’s interested in me, I just like her you know. It goes a lot more than love. I like her. I want to tell her everything that I do every day. And I want to hear what she thinks about it. I want to hear her little quips and the way she absolutely 100 freaking percent supports me in everything I do. No one else is that for me, especially not another woman.

M: *pats him on the back* Rob I’ve got an idea. Just keep replaying what you just said so you don’t forget it.


On the phone:

H: “Your hubby thinks he’s funny.”

M: “Your hubby is driving me crazy. He’s been calling me every hour. Héla, you need to talk to him. He’s miserable.

H: Pam, I don’t want to talk about it.

M: I know hun. I know. But you can’t tell me you don’t miss him. It’s been days.

*Silence on the other end*

M: I didn’t think so. Listen I had a little something delivered for you.

H: Oh really what?

M: Yoghurt ice-cream.

H: Seriously? Oh wow. Yay. It’s just what I need right now. Wait why did you have it delivered, couldn’t you have just…

*opens door*

R: Hi love.


pic post

just me wasting time while i'm supposed to be studying. i know everyone loves all the other fics from VF but as it is i'm ok with them being friends, secret lovers whatever. i just like the fact that they're two pretty people without egoes and this is the kind of pic i love taking with my friends :D


This a purely personal post that I may look back on years form now and laugh at the lovely memories I have :)

Here's how the wedding with wayfarers as a dress code will go:

Pattz is illegal
His wife has a harem

Hubby has a zizi

Basil's in denial
Oregano's delusional.

oh the wonderful world of twilight, inside jokes and french friends ^^


yet another imaginary conversation :P

ok since i'm having entirely too much fun with this analogy i've decided to share this with more people other than hela. lemme state the facts or else no one will get it:

A: i have a theory that since i am studying law, with a keen interest in entertainment law, i can eventually become rob pattinson's lawyer :P (strike 1 in unlikely but hey this is fiction after all :P :p)

B: if michael angaramo or whatever the heck his name is, is known as oregano, then that would make kristen, basil... a fellow customary pizza topping.

so here's how i'm thinking representing rob pattinson would go in the courtroom:

Me: Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, as you have seen with the evidence I have provided, my client absolutely cannot be held accountable for the accident he caused... based on the sheer fact that...well to put it in the famous terms of Ms. Meyer "he dazzles people".

Opposing counsel: Objection. Your honour this is absurd. Good looks as a defence? What's next? Undeniable chemistry as a factor that plays into diminishing Mr. Pattinson's repsonsibility in my client's emotional distress.

Me: Well I din't want to bring it up.. But now that YOU did.

Opposing counsel: Your honour. She is making a mockery of the courtroom.

Judge: wellllll... she sort of has a point (The judge, let's say is a woman, for hilarity's sake)

Me: *grins*

Judge: It's not up to me. The jury will decide.

*The jury walks out. A few minutes later they come back out.*

Judge: have you reached a verdict?

head juror: We have your honour.

Judge: And is this a unanimous vote?

Head Juror: Considering the majority of us are males, surprisingly, yes!

Judge: What is the verdict?

Head Juror: We find the defendant ... not guilty. We request that the judge make the conclusion being passed to her now.

Judge: *reads paper seriously* Very well. I'll concede. The Court of First Instance would hereby like to declare:
'Oregano's delusional for thinking he could win this. Basil's in denial and the defendant should be made illegal." Court is adjourned.

Opposing counsel: Your honour! This is an outrage!

Judge: take it up with God, Counsel. I can't change the man's looks.

Rob: (to me) Wow Pam. Thanks. You're the best! *runs fingers through his scruffy hair that I specifically told him he had to wash and let loose for Court* That was a close one. I thought for sure he had you when most of the jurors ended up being male. How come you let that one slide?

Me: Oh they were all male alright? But each one of them has a daughter who was a pre-teen when Twilight came out. They send you to jail, they get disowned. Incidentally, you got off without community service. You may have to sign a few autographs on the way out.


hope you like xoxo

Imaginary Conversation

hi there :)

this is just a funny convo me and heloula thought up of after ogling the vanity fair photos!!!!!